Life Abundant - The Fogel Family

Meet Austin

2011-08-26T17:20:00.003-04:00

We've been busy this year! Here is our newest little blessing - Austin Wayne

Wyatt and Shelby have been infatuated with him!

We also moved to a new house, Wayne got a new job, the kids have new schools, new doctors......new everything.

The other monster

2011-03-04T15:27:00.007-05:00

I don't blog often and when I do it is generally autism related since that pesky little disorder seems to occupy much of my life. I often don't address Wyatt's other, secondary disorder. It lurks around in the shadow of autism and has caused as much stress and mental anguish for me as the autism has. And that little monster is epilepsy.

It's diagnosis was a little more scientific, not much more concrete, though, and came with a really bittersweet friend: anti-seizure medications. The initial decision to put Wyatt on these pretty hefty brain-altering meds was an easy one; after all, this undiagnosed case of epilepsy had probably been complicating, if not causing, some of his developmental delays for years. Was there even a little hope in the back of our minds that this was the bigger monster wreaking havoc in our son's brain? Yeah, a little. Because of the nature of his epilepsy, we had no idea how many seizures per day he was having or if it was just the constant high amounts of electrical activity across his whole brain that was the bigger culprit, so we had nothing to lose.

Or so I thought.

This two year journey has proven to be as cruel to me as the caretaker as the autism has been. There is absolutely never a peace in my mind about the medications. While each has had it's benefits, and of course, controlling seizures is a benefit; the side effects have been bizarre and difficult to deal with. In a roller coaster life that already comes with difficult to manage behavior, mysterious inabilities and abilities, and a huge communication deficit, I have found that these medications have made the ride even more unstable and unknown. I feel like we are either on an uphill climb at an unbearably slow pace at an impossible incline, or being rushed over the peak with a never ending fall into darkness and unknown twists below. Sometimes the decision to change medications is easy. When, after a suitable period of adjustment, a new medication results in changing my son so drastically that I can hardly recognize him - then it's out. But other times, well, other times the decision is much more unclear, and much more costly to make.

We are in one of those times now. We have a medication that is very well controlling the electrical discharges in Wyatt's brain, but the side effects have been difficult to manage, causing new behavioral issues at home and at school as a result. The experts have been consulted and they concur that a change should not be made. For reasons they cannot explain, leaving an anti-seizure medication and going back to it in the future produces different results. Why change to an unknown medication that may not be as effective with the epilepsy and could manifest all new negative side effects?

And that is the question. At what point do you risk "this could be the best it gets" for "maybe there is something better"? These are the decisions that cause peace to be constantly out of grasp. Will I ever forgive myself for making the decisions I have made that may be causing their own damage? At the "end" will it be revealed that I did the best I could do for my son, or that I made his life all the more difficult?

When and how was it decided that I was qualified to manage this child's case?

I guess I will have to save that one for when I stand face to face with our mysterious, wonderful God. But only after I thank Him for the privilege of being Wyatt's mom.

Living Labeled

2009-11-09T22:26:00.008-05:00

I hate labels. I used to really like them. In fact, I was (am) known as the Label Queen by some of my friends. I was so proud of myself when I walked around with my personal label maker, things tagged all over the house with just the perfect organizational preciseness that I craved. As always, I would take it a notch higher on the obsessive compulsive scale to include color-coded labels. Why not, the resources are available, right?

But this week I have resolutely decided that I hate labels. Wyatt was diagnosed officially with Autism Spectrum Disorder Monday. It's not that anything about Wyatt changed, it's not that I wasn't prepared for this diagnosis. But somehow it came with a nail in the coffin finality that has made me feel an utter abhorrence for my once precious labels. Honestly, I just didn't want another entry to his list of issues. As a parent, it is a necessity for me to quantify these issues and formulate an attack to combat them in our lives. But as a parent, it goes against my very nature to collect these very heavy terms like they are somehow a definition of my son's life.

Definition. There is another word I thought about today. Can I even succinctly order the list so that I can say it when asked about Wyatt's "condition"? "Wyatt has Autism Spectrum Disorder specifically with Sensory Integration Disorder, Auditory Processing Disorder, Hypotonia and Partial Complex Seizure Disorder which primarily manifests in Absence-like seizures." What are the odds that definition is going to fit on the form for sports applications, summer camp registration or the like? What is wrong with me that I worry about filling in the blank on forms? Because I feel like it demonstrates in a very concrete way how much he isn't like the "normal" child, even though I spend many of my waking minutes of the day working on, pursuing, praying about and helping him attain some kind of normalcy. How can I come up with a definition that is how I really feel about my son?

This is all I have come up with:

Beautiful.

Blessed.

The top 10 things I should have blogged since last update....

2009-10-06T12:26:00.006-04:00

1. The kids promote Wayne to major in our unofficial ceremony at home.

2. Shelby plans to catch a chicken and take it home from Green Meadows Farm.

3. Wyatt decides he can hold a chick, but not a duckling.

4. Shelby becomes my little chef.

5. We get really, really in to Star Wars. Wyatt has a Star Wars party that took weeks of preparation - and it was totally worth it!

But this R2-D2 cake was a tough one!

6. Wyatt takes his first real train ride from Winter Park to Orlando!

7. I mentioned we were in to Star Wars right? Here's my son, Boba Fett.

8. Wyatt starts a regular kindergarten class at Sterling Park Elementary.

9. We had a fantastic summer vacation: Cinnamon Beach, Sea World, and Gatorland

10. Wyatt lost his 2 bottom teeth and got a fish - Tebow.

They grow so fast!

2009-07-01T10:36:00.006-04:00

I can't believe how quickly my children's lives are flying by! Wyatt graduated Pre-K. He needs very little assistance from me for anything (except meals and driving him places)! I think I purposely keep his shirts on the high rack of the closet so he at least asks me for help occasionally to get to a certain shirt. More often than not, though, he just pulls it down and leaves pieces of broken plastic hanger all over his closet. I can't even get mad about that because he is still using the baby sized hangers, which he probably doesn't even need anymore.....Here is my proof in picture:

I mean he really just humors Shelby and me by playing in this kiddie pool at all!

What is he here, like 20?

He now has another life depending on him - his first ever, just his pet. Meet Tebow the fish.

With the ups and downs we had with Wyatt's development, it seemed like this day was a long way off. But he graduated Pre-K, was cleared for "regular" kindergarten with the support of exceptional services, and he WILL BE in kindergarten in a few months, no matter how much I can't believe it!

And, this is my baby? Really?

She hardly does baby things anymore at all. Other than diapers, blankets and a pacifier, she seems all grown up too!

Wearing Daddy's boots....

Swimming with floaties and goggles....

and absolutely always getting in to mischief!

Doing whatever Big Bubba does....

Dressing herself in her own "swimsuit".....

Getting her own big girl toddler bed....

and helping Daddy renovate the laundry room!

They absolutely can't be this big.

But they are.

Has anyone figured out how to slow them down yet?

Family Portraits - Finally!

2009-01-10T23:24:00.002-05:00

Didn't it turn out great!?! We love it, although it would have been better to do on a day when Shelby wasn't teething (hence the pulled ear). We just had a hard time getting her to stop! But still, a great pic of the 4 of us.

I love this picture for obvious reasons! It's really a great expression on each of their faces and I have put this picture all around me everywhere I look. I will never get sick of it!

How sweet is this? I love the brother-sister relationship that they have already! They are a joy individually and even more wonderful when they are together!

I never get out from behind the camera, so I also cherish this shot. I really need to be in more photos with my kids, lest anyone think that I wasn't ever around. I love how she is clapping here. All in all, they did a great job and we spent a fortune on all the pictures!

Blowing the dust of my blogger

2009-01-10T23:21:00.003-05:00

Well, (more than) 3 months is too long to be off the blogspot! I've been caught up in the world of my kids and my husband which leaves way too many pictures to post in one shot. I will try to get some favorites up and then resume my blogging on a somewhat regular basis. Yeah right. FYI, I do a much better job of keeping up with Facebook, so if you really want to know what is going on with us, that's a much better way! But, because it lacks the story-telling that I know you love so much, I won't be closing down Life Abundant any time soon!

2008-10-01T15:29:00.000-04:00

New blogs coming soon - my husband gave me the iPhone for my bday and
I'm totally obsessed with it!

The Thomas the Tank Engine Party

2008-09-19T16:25:00.005-04:00

Wyatt's birthday party was a big deal for us this year. This is the first year that we have really had a party at home with family and friends. We had originally planned to have a superhero party, then it was Batman, and then one day we were talking about trains and Thomas and I said,"Do you want to have a Thomas party?" He said,"I can have a Thomas party?? YES!" So ever since then, it was Thomas all the way.

We decided to decorate the house as a train station. In this picture you can see one of the awesome signs that my family made: my brother cut them out and stained them, Wayne architecturally drew each letter, and Daneen painted them! Isn't it awesome to have such a helpful family??!! We also had signs for the present table (Baggage Area) and a mock Ticket window - which had a detailed train schedule and included a copy of the invitation which I made to look like a train ticket and a big sign that said "Sold Out". The biggest sign said "Train Station" and hung outside our front door from the roof so you could see it from the street and you walked under it to get to the door. We made railroad tracks for the backyard that were almost life-sized and 25 feet long, with a giant pop upThomas play tent train on the tracks. We also hung multi-colored pennants all around the outside of the house just like they decorate the station on the tv show. Wyatt loved it all! We rented a bounce house for the kids and let them run around in the heat until they wanted to pass out! We also had train tables set up inside for when the kids needed to cool off, so they could play with Wyatt's various trains and the ones we borrowed.

Here's the masterpeice. I have to say, this is one of my favorites because the integrity of the character is so dead on. However, that being said, the reason it looks so good is because I, for the first time ever, used non-edible parts to decorate the cake. I purchased a Thomas set that includes the face, funnel, whistle, wheels and tinder box. This was hard for me to do as I usually insist on making everything, but I am trying to be more realistic about my time and ability to get all this stuff done. Wyatt also appreciated the authenticity!! The steam is made of poly-fil. Daneen and I worked on the cake together and we make quite a team. We always complement each other so that it comes out just right, even if it does take 10 hours! Thanks to her and my brother for letting her come over and help me once again! Wyatt also requested a Sir Toppham Hat, and this was the only one I could find!!

We played a "Stick the 1 on Thomas game". Everyone thought he could see through the bandana (even me) because he stuck it right on the 1. But, I swear, I checked it and I could not see through it!!

The big number 5 - what a milestone - and everyone enjoyed the cake!!

Since this was Wyatt's first home party, I kept the invitation list small and the party time short, hoping he wouldn't decide that he was done with the party and ask everyone to leave. Fortunately, we had a few minutes of redirection, but mostly he loved it! Oh how he cried when he realized it was all over and the inflatable guy came to pick up the bounce house. Even today he still insists that it is still his birthday, and he was none to happy when the decorations started coming down. I think it went very well and more importantly, Wyatt really enjoyed it! I am so proud to see how he is developing his social skills and really making friends and attempts to play with them. What a great day it was!!

My baby's not a baby anymore

2008-09-19T13:36:00.001-04:00

I can't believe Wyatt is 5. It just doesn't seem right! I feel like if I blink he might be going off to college. Here he is ready to open some presents at home with Mom and Dad, just after he finished mowing. Yes, that was intentional, he wanted to mow on his birthday!!

Being silly at his family party at my mom's - that's big cousin Shane in the background - he turned 5 in June!

As requested, the party at my mom's was a Wall-E party - go ahead, laugh at this cake! I don't care - it was made out of scraps from his kick-booty Thomas cake which you will see in the next post and then feel really bad about making judgments on this cake. So go ahead, enjoy it! Incidentally, this Wall-E toy on top of the cake has now become permanently affixed to Wyatt's hand. We're dealing with a little bit of Wall-E obsession, and we don't even have the movie yet!!

Here's the Wall-E book, it makes all the robot sounds from the movie, so since we read this about 15 times a day, I imagine he will have it memorized in no time!!

She did it folks, she beat the Fogel record!

2008-09-19T13:30:00.001-04:00

Although I have not been able to properly document it in film yet, Shelby did start walking last week. She beat her brother by exactly one week for taking her first steps - and I am thoroughly impressed. She may have my overlycompetitive spirit in her, or maybe she just really wanted to quit rolling around on the floor. Either way, we are very proud of our little girl.

Very quickly after the first steps, she was walking all over. No testing the waters and then returning to the safety of crawling for her - she was up and at 'em. She has recently opened Shelby's Furniture Moving Service. Let us know if you need to borrow her for a day or two!

I can't seem to keep any of our chairs with the tables that they belong too. If you come over, you will have to sit on the couch!

Such a professional, she can work, walk and hold on to her flower blanket at the same time!!

Miscellaneous Nonsense

2008-08-27T22:33:00.000-04:00

Don't let her fool you - she was quickly climbing down and getting out of the toy basket by the time I grabbed the camera - she will do anything to get to Wyatt's stuff - and this easel in the play area is just too enticing. Mom thought she was so smart to stack the toy baskets in front of it so Shelby couldn't get it. Ha!

Oh, the intoxicating power of a bandaid for a little boy. Wyatt bit his lip, on the inside. But he assured me that now, it was all better. What was really funny was when we sat down to eat spaghetti 5 mintues after I took this picture. Wish I had my camera then.

On a side note: those terrible closetmaid pantry shelves in the background? Those are history! Thanks to my very handy wonderful husband, I have real built-in shelves and more storage space!

I wonder why Wyatt is her favorite - this is what happens when he helps give her "a few Cheerios". He is very proud of himself and to be honest, who cares? She thought it was a party and the dogs had a great time picking up the 47 that fell on the floor, and me, I'm just thrilled to have someone helping me out around here!!

Hey Olympics - try this: Baby Food Hairstyling Competition

2008-08-27T22:25:00.001-04:00

Don't you love baby food hairstyling competition?
We have at least 3 everyday in our house.

She is the messiest eater! Surely this can't be my baby - I mean yes, I am the messiest cook you will ever meet, but a messy eater?? Never!! She revels in getting as much food everywhere but her mouth as possible! She loves to bat at the spoon when you try to get it near her face and then - before you know it, she is doing her hair with peaches. And she laughs, oh how she laughs at me. Meanwhile, I'm freaking out and then sitting in the corner chewing on my hair trying to figure out how to deal with the mess!

So, as always, it's get her in the bath before she touches anything else!! Except for me. Let's see hands from all the moms that walk around like me with baby food all over their clothes. It's either that, or on the days that I simply must leave the house, I have 28 wardrobe changes before we can leave! Thank goodness she loves bathtime. Do you think she makes the mess on purpose so that I will put her in the bath?? Hmmm, she's a coniving little girl already. Here she is trying to catch water again. I love that.

She'll get it too! My daughter, the water catcher, with the crazy hair.

First Day of Pre-K, for the 3rd and final time

2008-08-27T22:15:00.001-04:00

Daddy took these pictures, thank goodness. Mommy was doing something very important I'm sure, or at least feeding Shelby. This is Wyatt's 3rd and final year in Mrs. B's Pre-K class at Red Bug Elementary. Yes, I know, I need to sweep around the front door! Should have cropped that out . . . .

Sometimes you get annoyed when he won't stop moving for even a second to take his picture. But, Wayne was quick on the clicker with this shot, which is that perfect un-centered, wink-wonky style that I love. And look at that sweet face and those big baby blues. Can he really be about to turn 5?? I can't believe it!

OK, another sweet smile and it's off to school he goes!

Fun Day #2 - Gators Galore at Gatorland!

2008-08-05T22:06:00.001-04:00

I'm really ticked that the camera was all steamed up from being in an ice cold car and then out in the super humid FL air - because this would have been cute, huh?

Look at this. I love it. What excellent Gator Chomp form. I couldn't be prouder. Well, until today, when we were walking through Bed, Bath and Beyond and we passed some Gator stuff and Wyatt yelled out at the top of his lungs (and if you know him, you know how loud that is!) "GO GATORS!!"

Wayne actually thought to get the whole historic Gator head in the picture. But, just so you know, that is me, Shelby and Wyatt in it's giant mouth.

All day, I kept wondering, who is having more fun??

Fun Day #1 - Sea World

2008-08-04T16:49:00.001-04:00

Since Wayne has been working on re-tiling our shower and various other home improvement projects on his vacation, we decided to actually take a day off and go to Sea World. We've been every year, thanks to the "Here's to the Heroes" program for the military, and we were sure that Wyatt would have even more fun this year. Typically, Wyatt doesn't thrive at places like theme parks. There are just too many people and because it is unfamiliar, he hasn't learned how to act or what to expect, so he usually melts down. We knew this time would be different though, because he is doing so much better at, well, everything! So off we went, and he was so excited. Shelby had her own vacation day with my mom, so we got to just have some one-on-one time with Wyatt.

First, like all the other thousands of people, we stopped at the Sting Ray Lagoon. Wyatt thought it was cool, but wouldn't dare touch one, which I thought was funny of him. But hey, if you weren't sure what it was and someone said, "Sure, touch the STING ray!" would you? The next stop was Dolphin Cove, which was so crowded that Wyatt had to get on Wayne's shoulders to see. He seemed to like the dolphins, although he had no Pixar movie character reference for a dolphin. This stumped me beacuse with all the movies Wyatt watches, a huge portion of the animal kingdom is covered. But, apparently not dolphins. He really like to study how they were swimming, then asked if he could swim too.

Here is the back of my son's beautiful peanut head with a great haircut from dad. This is how he prefers his pictures to be taken. So, this is the last one I took - ALL DAY. I give up, I decided we had been to Sea World enough times, I was just going to view it with my own eyes instead of through the LCD of my digital camera!

So, we had a great time. We went to a couple shows (not much at these impressed Wyatt, he would rather get close to something and study it in a natural setting), rode the Atlantis boat ride (scared him to death - again, he doesn't like ANY surprise and the drops came as a surprise to him - also, he hates having wet clothes on unless he is in the water - so fortunately I had packed extra clothes), played at Shamu's Happy Harbour, saw the Penguins and Sharks twice and capped off the day with Shamu - which he really liked. We got an ice cream cone and stopped in the gift shop on the way to the parking lot and he picked out a big toy set that contained almost all the animals at Sea World. When we got to my mom's to pick up Shelby, he got in the pool and proceeded to re-enact everything he saw, including being Shamu and splashing us with his "tail". I think it went well, but really, I think he would be just as happy to go swimming next time instead! It's the simple things in life that make Wyatt happy, he certainly doesn't need a big production! And that is one of my favorite things about him.....

Glorious old Glory

2008-08-04T16:28:00.000-04:00

Everyday, at least on those rare summer days when it isn't raining in Florida, the sun sets behind our flag and casts a beautiful warmth over our office. The first few days after we posted the flag, I would walk through the office and think - "What is that strange light coming from?" It casts a reddish glow through our windows and splashes along the desk and for a short window of time, you can feel the warmth of the sun rays just by looking at them. I love when this happens - and the picture will never do it justice!

Updates coming soon!

2008-07-31T21:13:00.004-04:00

Yeah, it's true. I'm way behind on my blogging. I can't even keep up with the blogs I read, much less author and upload mine! I've been trying to enjoy the summer and actually relax, which is new and different for me. But I feel a change on the horizon, school is just weeks away, life is starting to settle into a routine with Wayne going back to work on Monday, and I will catch up and actually try to blog once a week. Oh the stories I have coming soon! Stay tuned! Meanwhile, check out my handsome boys chillin' by the pool at my mom's!

In Command

2008-07-12T13:18:00.003-04:00

Congratulations to Wayne today as he took his first command! He's come a long way baby!

We are so proud of you!

Bathing Beauty

2008-07-08T21:28:00.001-04:00

Here's my beautiful baby girl - can you see that half of a tooth? Finally!

Don't let this face fool you, she really loves her bath time. I mean really.

Already a lady, way to strategically place that toy Shelby!! We'll have to work on the topless part.....

No matter how many times I say no standing in the bathtub, she stands up in the bathtub. Can you belive this disobedience at such an early age? What am I going to do when high school comes around? And boys? Tell me, seriously!

Whatchu lookin' at?

The evolution of crawling

2008-07-08T21:18:00.001-04:00

So it happened pretty quickly. One day, I sat Shelby down in her room with toys all around her and went to help Wyatt finish up his bath. Two minutes later, she was out of her room and in the bathroom with us! What a surprise!

Yes, I know these photos reveal to you just how bad of a photographer I really am, but even blurry, I love this action shot of her crawling! She is so deliberate and determined.

No problem getting down the hall, even over this ridiculous speed bump of a rug mom left on the floor....

Then, within 2 days, I was everywhere! Even into my brother's letters for spelling on the fridge! What fun! What chaos! What havoc I am wreaking on my mother's un-childproofed house!

And only a few more days, and I could do this! Pulling up on everything in sight! Mom will never be able to catch me anymore!

Nothing makes me feel more complete

2008-06-25T15:08:00.008-04:00

Watching my 2 kiddos playing together just gives me that warm fuzzy feeling all over! I can't believe the years I stressed over how an addition to our family would affect Wyatt, and how he would react to a baby in the house. Boy was I wrong! I couldn't ask for a better helper, and to see how he truly loves to be with her and play with her is endearing. I didn't realize that just like my heart would expand to love Shelby as much as I love Wyatt, that Wyatt's heart would too!

I love how he makes sure she has her own toy that is the same as what he is playing with - of course here she is reaching for one of his helicopters - but he takes it so well!

He even loves to sit and play with her with her baby toys - he always likes to pile them up all around her so she has anything that she wants!

Now that she's crawling, she goes into his room to play!

I don't think he minds - he looks so proud, doesn't he?

Wyatt gets his first real bike!

2008-06-25T14:48:00.009-04:00

To mark the end of the school year in which Wyatt was enrolled in the Pre-K program full time (although Mom hated putting him in from 7:45-2 everyday!) we decided to get him a bike! He wasn't really interested in the toddler bikes when he was younger, and he still loves his Big Wheel, but when we were at a friends' house a few weeks ago, he rode around on his bike and when he got in the truck that day he declared,"I want my bike!" It was kind of a big gift for the end of the school year, especially since he still has one more year to graduate Pre-K, but his birthday seems so far away and he has made such remarkable strides in his communication and academic skills this semester. We are so proud of Wyatt!

Getting his helmet on first - he picked out the one with a fire-breathing dragon - go figure!

I think he likes it - and I quote "I like MY bike!"

The only bad thing about his class having a Pre-K graduation: Wyatt has been walking around singing songs and talking about going to Kindergarten! He'll be happy to return to his friends and the best teacher in the whole world next August though!

Can this be the only picture of the 4 of us?!

2008-06-16T15:21:00.001-04:00

As it stands right now, this is the only somewhat decent photo of our family! My prioirty for this summer is to try to get all 4 of us to The Picture People so that we will have an official portrait. For now, this Christmas pic taken by Daneen will serve as the only documentation that all 4 of us have been in the same place at the same time wearing nice clothes!